My mom says this time of year has always been bittersweet with the end of Summer, the end of the growing season, and a time of change with school beginning. As I have seen and felt, as a mother, this is a time of redefinition. When the kids go off to school, what do I do with my time? How can I be productive? Where do I begin?
My nerves are a bit more active these days as I begin teaching piano, and determine if I need to go back to work full-time. Plus, the girls started school last week, and that back-to-school adjustment is still on my to-do list. I am stepping into a different stage here, with both girls in Jr. High this year. They are more self-sufficient, but this is a time when I feel more protective of them. This is the main reason I don't know if I should go back to work full-time.
So, for this time, I will be teaching piano one, possibly two afternoons each week, and have sent some art class suggestions to a neighboring town's recreation department. I am waiting to hear about sign-ups, but am trying to prepare for a positive response. This is a stretch for me. I can doodle or paint at home, or plunk out a tune on my keyboard for my own enjoyment, but to be responsible to teach someone else is a scary thing. What if I don't know the right answer? What if I am boring?
This I do know: I love creativity. I know that we are created beings, and I believe that means we are creative beings. I try to tell myself that I am qualified to do these things (don't worry, I am and have the papers to prove it). The reason my nerves tell me otherwise is because I lack confidence. I have wonderful friends that encourage me and know my skills, and I trust them, but I can't seem to let it settle in my heart that it is true.
How do others find their voice, their confidence?