Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Taking the next step. . .with confidence?

 My mom says this time of year has always been bittersweet with the end of Summer, the end of the growing season, and a time of change with school beginning.  As I have seen and felt, as a mother, this is a time of redefinition.  When the kids go off to school, what do I do with my time?  How can I be productive?  Where do I begin? 

My nerves are a bit more active these days as I begin teaching piano, and determine if I need to go back to work full-time. Plus, the girls started school last week, and that back-to-school adjustment is still on my to-do list.  I am stepping into a different stage here, with both girls in Jr. High this year.  They are more self-sufficient, but this is a time when I feel more protective of them.  This is the main reason I don't know if I should go back to work full-time.  

So, for this time, I will be teaching piano one, possibly two afternoons each week, and have sent some art class suggestions to a neighboring town's recreation department.  I am waiting to hear about sign-ups, but am trying to prepare for a positive response.  This is a stretch for me.  I can doodle or paint at home, or plunk out a tune on my keyboard for my own enjoyment, but to be responsible to teach someone else is a scary thing.  What if I don't know the right answer?  What if I am boring? 

This I do know:  I love creativity.  I know that we are created beings, and I believe that means we are creative beings.  I try to tell myself that I am qualified to do these things (don't worry, I am and have the papers to prove it).  The reason my nerves tell me otherwise is because I lack confidence.  I have wonderful friends that encourage me and know my skills, and I trust them, but I can't seem to let it settle in my heart that it is true.

How do others find their voice, their confidence?

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like we are going through some of the same emotions. Your piano is your outlet...your gift. I'm hoping my painting will be mine. Oh and blogging has definitely bolstered my confidence and helped me find my voice. Self expression is wonderful. Keep it up:)


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