Friday, August 24, 2012

Forgetful Fear

I have forgotten how to pray. 

Fear keeps me from remembering.  It keeps me preoccupied with things that might happen, catastrophes that loom, dangers that lurk just around the corner.

I wasn't always like this. 

I know God is here, and knows my circumstances, and He never changes.  He is not like the shifting sands, He does not sleep, but...

                                         My      faith       is               smaller

 Small faith makes me sink, like Peter who Jesus called out of the boat on that wave-tossed sea... He could see Jesus walking on the water, and asked to go out to Him, yet when Peter looked around, instead of focusing on Jesus, he became fearful and began to sink.  Peter cried out to Jesus to save him, and immediately Jesus reached out to him, but what did Jesus say?  "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"  

He could ask the same of me.  Why do I doubt His ability, His wisdom, His timing?  Why do I doubt Him and who He is?  Why do I doubt? 

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Eph 6:16  Those fiery arrows are flying around, and I am losing my focus on the One who has already defeated the enemy! 

This morning on my way to work, I prayed as Jesus taught His disciples.  It is all I could muster because I could not find words to express my thoughts.  I know the Holy Spirit interprets even our groans when that's all we can do, and I am grateful for that, but in faith I need to step out and speak .  I know He hears and I know He cares and as His will is carried out, I pray for true faith - even the size of a mustard seed - to follow Him where He leads.

I pray I will not forget His faithfulness.

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